


All My Fault

by bittersweetrecovery



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, post-season 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 23:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4325550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersweetrecovery/pseuds/bittersweetrecovery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stiles,” she said. “What’s going on with you?” He stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and when he finally looked up, tears were rolling down his cheeks. He opened his mouth as if to say something but shut it again.</p>
<p> “It’s my fault,” he eventually whispered. “She’s gone and it’s my fault. I did this to her. I killed her.” Lydia was taken aback – she’d never seen her friend this vulnerable, had never seen him so terrified.<br/> <br/>“Stiles,” she said slowly. “None of this is your fault.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	All My Fault

Lydia was the first to notice how quiet Stiles were; it was unlike him even in the wake of Allison’s death and on day of her funeral. Stiles was the one who were supposed to tell them that everything was going to be okay, that they should celebrate her life and how strong she had always been but he wasn’t saying anything. Usually, it would have been Scott who’d picked up on it but he was grieving the loss of his first love who’d died in his arms.

 Stiles was hanging back by the table with food in the Argent apartment now only occupied by Mr. Argent. He didn’t make conversation with anybody, didn’t look anybody in the eye. He just stood there, staring at the food. Lydia stepped away from the crowd and approached Stiles, she put her hand on his arm and he shivered a little at the touch. He looked up at her. He looked worn out, dark circles around his but it was different from when the Nogitsune had possessed him back then he looked crazy, now he just seemed exhausted.

“Come on,” she said. “Let step outside for a second.” Stiles nodded. They excused themselves from the gathering and headed for the elevator. On the way down, Lydia pressed the button that made the elevator stop and looked at Stiles.

“Stiles,” she said. “What’s going on with you?” He stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and when he finally looked up, tears were rolling down his cheeks. He opened his mouth as if to say something but shut it again.

“It’s my fault,” he eventually whispered. “She’s gone and it’s my fault. I did this to her. I killed her.” Lydia was taken aback – she’d never seen her friend this vulnerable, had never seen him so terrified.

“Stiles,” she said slowly. “None of this is your fault.”

“Of course it’s my fault! I was the Nogitsune, Lydia! I drew you guys there, you knew that someone was going to die and I did nothing to stop it! Allison is dead because of me!” Stiles was screaming at her with tears streaming down his face, his eyes were red and he looked like he was about to crumble to the floor from sleep deprivation. At the sound of Allison’s name being said out loud, Lydia felt an ache in her chest and the knot in the pit of her stomach tightened. Her best friend was gone but it wasn’t Stiles’ fault. He had opened a door in his mind to save his father and somehow the Nogitsune had taken control of him when he was most vulnerable but he’d been himself and separated from his Nogitsune lookalike when the Oni killed Allison.

“Look at me,” Lydia said. He didn’t react, he was leaning against the walls of the elevator, his hands on his knees to support his weight and he was sobbing.

“ _Stiles, look at me_.” She was firm in her voice and put a hand on his shoulder. Stiles looked up at her with those haunting light brown eyes filled with desperation. He stood up straight towering over her despite the four-inch heels she was wearing. He wiped the tears away from his cheeks. They were standing close to each other; she could feel the heat from his body projecting onto her.

“Stop blaming yourself,” she whispered. “You didn’t do this. The Oni did this. Void did this.” Lydia put her hand on this side of his face and felt his soft skin under her fingers.

“If Allison were here,” Lydia started. “She wouldn’t blame you. She wouldn’t blame anybody because that’s who she was, she would have told you to get your act together and take chances. And I know this is hard to hear because I’m still trying to accept that she’s gone myself but Stiles, I’ll say it to you one last time: You didn’t do this and it is not your fault. Okay?” He nodded and put his hand on top of hers, which was still resting on his cheek. His hands were cold compared to the rest of him. She smiled.

“Thank you, Lydia,” he said almost inaudible. Lydia felt like her hand was burning against Stiles’ cheek and his hand on top of hers felt soft, gentler than she’d ever imagined his hand. Lydia could feel Stiles’ hot breath on her skin and for a moment she looked into those exhausted amber eyes of his – she wanted to take away his pain just as she wanted him to take away hers. Caught in the moment, she untangled her hand from his and placed it at the back of his neck, she drew his head closer to hers and pressed her lips to his waiting to see if he would return it.

He took a couple of seconds to recover from the shock but eventually kissed her back. His arms snuck around her waist and took the opportunity to spin her around so she was against the elevator wall as opposed to him. The kiss that had started innocent and gentle turned passionate and desperate. Stiles moved his hand from her waist to her cheek, his surprisingly strong fingers wrapping around her neck to get her more into the kiss. He was better at it than she’d expected, they had kissed before but that was when she’d stopped his panic attack. It had been brief but real. Just like this was real and good but still under strange circumstances. When they pulled back from each other both of them were out of breath. They stared at each other as if trying to analyze what the other was thinking. Lydia’s heart was pounding in her chest.

“Why,” Stiles started. “Why did you just do that?”

“I don’t know,” she said, a slight smile formed on her lips. “Because I wanted to.” He smiled down at her and gave a brief kiss on the lips before turning the elevator back on. They rode down and all the way up again holding hands.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this right after 3B ended but never actually posted it so here you go.


End file.
